添削してもらえました

Business Justification

Thank you for your correction.
That is exactly what I want.

- solution or technology that -

サトー判断：any solution or technology for hard disc encryption which is available to prevent -
Reviewerさん(US)提案：any hard disc encryption solution or technology that is available to prevent -

-al, -ing

サトー判断：critical business-impacting information
Reviewerさん(US)提案：critical, business-impacting information

be divulged

サトー判断：from divulging -
Reviewerさん(US)提案：from being divulged -

due to - of -

サトー判断：that theft or loss of mobile computer can cause?
Reviewerさん(US)提案：due to theft or loss of mobile computer?